Abuelito
by jikanet-tanaka
Summary: "'We're all family here, right? Since I'll get to be this li'l gremlin's Grunkle and all.' '...oh," Soos said, 'but you can't be a Grunkle, Mr. Pines.'" Post-finale fluff, because seriously, we can never have enough post-finale fluff in this fandom.
"Do you want to hold her again, Mom?" Melody asked her mother. "She's finally sleeping."

Her daughter's voice took Christina out of a daze. She had been so content watching her little granddaughter fall asleep in Melody's arms she had not even seen the time pass.

"Well," Christina said, "I would love to, but I'd rather let one of your friends have their chance." She turned towards the two teenagers—from what Christina understood, they happened to be some of her son-in-law's distant relations—and smiled.

The girl twin—Mabel, yes, that was her name—immediately grinned back. "You'd let us hold the baby? Really?"

Melody chuckled. "Are you planning to chuck her out the window? If not, then of course I'd let you hold the baby."

Christina's granddaughter gave the softest of coos as she was transferred into the high schooler's arms. Not for the first time, Christina felt as if her heart would burst from the sheer cuteness of it all.

"She really is adorable!" Mabel sighed happily. "Look, she's got Soos' ears!"

Her brother—Soos had called him Dipper, Christina remembered—snorted. "How can you tell?"

"It's evident, duh!" the girl replied. "Just use your own two eyes." After a while, she gave her brother an impish look. "Wanna hold her, Dipdop?"

"Uh…"

"C'mon, dummy, you won't drop her!"

Mabel handed the baby over to her brother. The lanky teen grimaced as he held the infant. "Am I… am I doing this right? I know I have to support her head but beside that—"

"You're doing fine, Dipper," Melody said. "I'm so glad you guys could make it."

"We were lucky you gave birth smack in the middle of spring break!" Mabel giggled. "Mom and Dad would have never allowed us to come all the way back to Gravity Falls otherwise."

Other than Soos' abuelita, Dipper and Mabel were so far the only members of her son-in-law's family who had seen the baby. They had arrived not long after visitors were allowed to meet the mother and the newborn, the girl irrupting into the room in a whirlwind of garish pastels. Her brother, clad in modest flannel, had trailed after her soon afterwards. His unsure countenance and heartfelt, but unsuccessful attempt at a beard had instantly endeared him to Christina.

Soos had burst into tears upon seeing them, and he had continued to dabble at his eyes as the two teenagers introduced themselves. Soos' grandmother was, of course, glad to see them ("Mijo! Mija! Ah, you've both grown so tall!") while Melody's father, Christina's ex-husband, immediately hit it off with the boy twin. The two shared a love for B-list horror movies, it seemed.

After his abuelita had started to nod off, Soos had offered to drive her home for her afternoon nap. Around the same time Melody managed to convince her father, who lived out of state and thus had to drive seven hours straight to be there for the birth of his grandchild, to get some rest as well. It had taken Christina and the twins' combined efforts to pry him off Melody's bedside; he'd been so taken with his little granddaughter (although, Christina could not fault him for that—she herself was still a little starstruck by the scamp's natural charm).

They'd been gone for thirty minutes now. It was a testament to how much Soos cared about his grandmother that he'd agree to be away from his daughter for so long. As she watched Dipper gently rocking the baby, Christina smiled, remembering the expression on Soos' face the first time he'd beheld his daughter. Christina had taken an immediate liking to young Jesús Ramirez—he was the first person she'd met who could match her daughter's starry-eyed zest for life—and seeing him with his own child had only deepened her affection for the young man. None of his usual clumsiness had shown as his daughter had been put into his arms; it seemed as if he had been born prepared for this day.

Bits of conversations were filtering from the hallway. Christina recognized Soos' voice, but she could not identify the person with whom he was speaking. Soon, the large form of Christina's son-in-law passed through the doorway. Christina could spy the silhouette of another man behind him.

"What's up, dudes and dudettes?" Soos addressed everyone in the room. "Dipper, Mabel, look what I've found on my way up here!"

The man who had been following Soos came forward, prompting a happy squeal from Mabel.

"Hello, everyone," he told the people assembled before him. Christina vaguely remembered him to be the twins' great-uncle. "It's good to see all of you again."

His words brought smiles to the faces of every youth in the room.

"Grunkle Ford!" Dipper and Mabel said simultaneously. The girl shot across the room to hug her uncle. Her twin gave the baby to Melody before following his sister so he could embrace the old man as well.

"So glad you could make it!" Mabel said. "We sure missed you!"

The man patted his niece on the head. "When Soos told us the delivery date, we knew we had to book a break from our research to be there," he said. "You know Stan wouldn't miss this for all the gold in the world."

Christina wasn't sure, but she thought she saw Soos blinking back tears.

"This means a lot coming from you, Mr. Ford, dude," her son-in-law said.

"Where is Stan, anyway?" Dipper said.

"Parking the car," his uncle answered, "and no doubt cursing the parking fees." He faced Christina, giving her a boyish grin. "I should introduce myself, then."

Christina took a better look at him: he was tall and, dared she say, _handsome,_ with thick, tousled grey hair and a strong, square chin.

"Ms. Ramos, was it?" he asked Christina, "I'm not sure you remember, but we met at your daughter's wedding, two years ago. I'm Stanford Pines." He extended a hand, and Christina shook it with an eager smile.

"Nice to see you again," she said. "I'm always glad to meet up with Soos' relatives." The Ramirezes were a good, close-knitted bunch who had welcomed Melody with open arms. For this reason, Christina loved them all dearly.

"Oh, we are not blood-related," Stanford replied. "I guess you could call me a friend of the family."

"A friend of the family?" Soos said, laughing.

"Mr. Pines, you earned the right to be part of this family a long time ago," Melody continued. She bit down her lip and added shyly, "That's why we'd be happy if you would accept to be the baby's Grunkle."

Mabel let out a shriek of glee so high-pitched Christina was sure a part of it could only be heard by canine ears. Stanford Pines's cheeks became a fetching shade of pink. He scratched the back of his head, looking anywhere but at Soos and Melody.

"Well, um," he said, "of course I'd be glad to be the little one's uncle. It would be an honour, truly."

Mabel sauntered over to Melody and the baby. "You'll see, squirt, you're gonna have the two best Grunkles in the whole world! Trust me, I'm speaking from experience!"

"Did someone say something about the world's best Grunkle?!" a loud voice boomed from beyond the open door.

Soon enough, another grey-haired man about Christina's age was strutting inside the hospital room, his long coat flapping behind him. After a cursory inspection, she could tell the man _had_ to be Stanford's twin brother: they shared the same lantern jaw, the same ruddy nose, the same playful, bright brown eyes. Still, despite their obvious physical resemblance, the two men seemed as different as day and night. Stanford exuded class and confidence, looking every inch the part of a debonair university teacher (or at least the kind of teachers Christina wished she'd had, back in the days). His twin, on the other hand, radiated a manic sense of energy; standing next to him, Christina felt as if she happened to be close to a naked live wire.

"Grunkle Stan!" the twins exclaimed at the same time.

"Mr. Pines!" Soos said in a tremulous voice. "You came!"

"What," the man said, "d'you think I'd miss this? I'm not the cold-hearted bast _—jerk_ everyone thinks I am!"

"Stanley drove over the speed limit all the way up here so we'd be here on time," Stanford said. His eyes sparkled with fond mischievousness.

"Yeah, an' you encouraged me to run a red light about five times. Don't try to make me look bad, Poindexter."

"You guys!" cried Mabel. "You really are the bad decisions crew! What am I going to do with you two?"

"I'm sorry, my dear," Stanford told the girl sheepishly,

His brother only laughed, saying, "Sorry 'bout that, pumpkin! That's jus' how we are!"

Mabel folded her arms across her chest, pouting.

Stanley mussed up her hair before turning to Christina. "I guess the lovely lady here must be the new grandma, huh? I remember stealing a dance or two from you at the kids' wedding two years ago."

"You did," Christina said. She recalled the man as a talentless, but enthusiastic partner. "It's good to see you again, Mr. Pines."

"Oh, jus' call me Stan," the man replied, wiggling his eyebrows. Christina stifled a laugh; the last time she'd seen such charm, she had been a wide-eyed country gal trudging through college. "We're all family here, right? Since I'll get to be this li'l gremlin's Grunkle and all."

"Oh," Soos said, "but you can't be a Grunkle, Mr. Pines."

Silence fell all over the room. Dipper and Mabel looked at Soos as though he had grown a second head.

"…what?" Stanley simply said. The barest flicker of pain filtered through his eyes.

"You'll be Grandpa Stan," Soos said as if it was the most evident thing in the world. The moment the words left his mouth he went red as a fire truck and added, "T-That is, um, well, i-if you want to, M-Mr. Pines. 'C-Cause maybe I'm just p-putting my foot in my m-mouth again and—"

Stan stared at Soos. Soos stared at Stan. Stan stared at Soos some more. The older man's face was stuck in the most unflattering of expressions.

"Oh my gosh, Soos, you broke Grunkle Stan's brain!" Mabel said.

Her brother jabbed his thumb at Soos. "I think Soos broke his own brain too, Mabel." Christina's son-in-law had not budged an inch since he'd finished speaking.

Finally, Stan's face twisted, his mouth thinning into a line, his eyes widening and widening, his thick eyebrows traveling so far up his forehead they were soon hidden under his red woollen hat. And then before Christina could even blink the old man was sobbing and snorting all over his brother.

" _M-M-M-Mr. Pines!_ " Soos wailed, launching himself at the two older men. For a split-second, Stanford showed a hint of fear as hundreds of pounds of blubbering happiness rushed towards him and his brother. Soon, he was crushed under the brute force of a two-way hug.

"Dammit, Soos!" Stan Pines groused, sniveling all over his brother's shoulder. "Stop crying, it ain't manly!"

"You're the one to talk!" Dipper called out from across the room.

Soos only bawled harder. "I-I-I can't help it, Mr. Stan, dude, t-t-this is the h-h-happiest moment of my life!"

"Shut up, I said! S-S-Shut up!"

They cried and moaned and whined for many more minutes, squeezing poor Stanford a little tighter with every sob that left their mouths. The latter's expression evoked a deer caught face to face with a speeding car.

Christina shared a look with her daughter. Melody was shaking her head, silently communicating to her mother that everything was fine and dandy. The baby slept on; she must have been born with eardrums of steel, the new grandmother mused.

After a while, Stanley and Soos settled down, liberating poor Stanford from their crushing grip. Stan Pines snorted back some snot before wiping his eyes.

"Whelp, this wasn't my manliest moment," the old man said. "I'll have to ask you lot to strike this out of your memories."

"There's no need to be embarrassed," Christina tried to reassure him. "It's always good to let out your emotions." And there was nothing better than a man with his heart on his sleeve, her mind added treacherously.

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but Mabel already took tons of pictures," Dipper said with a shrug. His sister flashed a grin that wouldn't have looked out of place on a serial killer.

"Dammit! I mean, dangit!" Stanley buried his face into his hands, clearly uncomfortable with the scrutiny (and barely concealed amusement) that was directed at his person. "You're all dead to me! Dead to me, I tell you!" He swallowed back a sob and walked up to Melody and the still sleeping baby. "I'm leaving everything I own to this li'l squirt. At least you won't laugh at a poor old man, will you?"

Melody giggled as she gave her daughter a little squeeze. "Not until a few years, at least."

A surprisingly soft smile illuminated the old man's features. "That's good for me. So, what are you called anyway? Stan Jr.?"

"Grunkle Stan, the baby's a girl," Dipper said.

"I know that, knucklehead, it was just a bad joke. The two lovebirds wouldn't be cruel enough to give their bundle of joy a gross old man name, now, would they?"

"Actually, we had decided on Edward Stanley if it had been a boy," Soos admitted.

Stanley froze as he looked at the young man; his eyes were round with bewilderment.

Melody blushed. "And no one would have realized I would have named my son after my second favourite anime character," she said under her breath. She reddened even more when she saw her mother rolling her eyes.

"Sheesh! You dodged a bullet there, kid!" Stanley told the baby. "I mean, who wants to be named after a screw-up like me?"

"Well, we chose Lee as her middle name," Melody said. "Serena Lee Ramirez. Doesn't it sound cute?"

"Yeah, real cute," Stan said in an absentminded tone. He seemed completely transfixed by the fact that the baby had wrapped her little hand around one of his fingers.

Mabel appeared to be holding back another happy squeak. Her brother exchanged a secret grin with their uncle Stanford.

"'S. Lee', huh…?" Stanford said, rubbing his chin in mock contemplation. "Wonder where that comes from…"

"What?" Stanley said as his brother beamed at him. "What's up with you, Sixer—oh. _Oh!_ "

Christina had to commend his efforts: this time, it took him a whole thirty seconds before he became a blubbering mess.

As if on cue, Soos began to weep again. " _Mr. Piiines!_ " he cried as he squashed the old man into another bear hug. Stanley's sobs turned to wheezes. Christina shot a concerned look to the latter's brother. Stanford shrugged, mouthing to her, "This is normal, don't worry."

"Y-You're both stupid, you k-know that?" Stanley managed between noisy gasps. "Y-You're the d-dumbest pair of kids I've ever met…!"

"You're not a screw-up, dude! You saved the world!" Soos exclaimed with gusto. "You saved us all!"

"He… _what?_ " was all Christina could say. She glanced at Stanford for clarification. The latter only replied with another shrug and a soft mutter of, "Long story."

Amidst all this brouhaha, Mabel sidled over to Melody, whispering, "Sooo… _Serena?_ " She seemed barely able to contain her glee.

Melody returned her conspiratorial look. "No one will be able to tell that I've named my daughter after my favourite anime character."

* * *

A/N: I swear to God when I first set out to write this fic Melody's mom wasn't perving on the Grunks at every opportunity. I had no idea how it happened. It just _did_.


End file.
